Category: Humor

Broadway Recognizes Georgia’s Favorite Dueling Immigrant

In 1776, three Georgians – Lyman Hall, George Walton, and Button Gwinnett – signed the Declaration of independence. Each lives on, most notably through the counties that bear their surnames. When you visit the Georgia State Capitol, you can see the marble bust of each one in the rotunda.

What do we know about Button Gwinnett? It’s been written that Gwinnett is great, success lives there, and in at least one Gwinnett city, everyone is somebody. However, unlike his co-signers from the thirteenth colony, Gwinnett wasn’t even born here – he was an immigrant – and he died in a duel with Lachlan McIntosh in May of 1777 following a disagreement over securing Georgia’s southern border. Gwinnett wanted to invade Florida; McIntosh disagreed and asserted that Gwinnett’s scheme was politically motivated. (Maybe it would have been easier to just build a fence?)

Revolutionary-era immigrants who died in a duel with a political rival are kind of a thing right now – perhaps I’ve mentioned it? – so it only stands to reason that our man Bilbo Giblin Button Gwinnett is ready for his turn in the spotlight. It took a South Carolinian and a New Yorker (and a beat-boxing New Orleanian) to get the job done, and for that, we raise a glass to Stephen Colbert and Lin-Manuel Miranda for their one-song musical. Ladies, prepare to defend thine Button-holes:

Wisdom Narrowly Conquers Lust

No, the defeat of Lust didn’t happen in a poll of dissuaded AshleyMadison users, and this is a family political blog, so this post will remain G-rated.

However.

In the municipal and legislative runoffs that took place across Georgia on December 1, there were notable upsets, but perhaps none with as much at stake as that posed by Lust versus Wisdom. 1,173 voters in Powder Springs Post 2 faced this choice on Tuesday, and when all the votes were counted, Lust was vanquished by the hair’s breadth of 13 votes.

Screen Shot 2015-12-03 at 12.59.41 PM

Statewide, we only get our wisdom in moderation. In Powder Springs, Wisdom is theirs for the next four years.

(Meanwhile in Powder Springs, veteran Councilmember Al Thurman won Tuesday’s mayoral runoff with 57% of the vote – and also made history as the first black mayor elected in Cobb County. In the Marietta Daily Journal, Thurman emphasized his hope that his service as mayor will transcend race, stating, “I’m not the black mayor. I’m the mayor. I’m here to serve everyone… The demographics are changing and this is a clear reflection of this change.”)

Thanksgiving Can Be Fun Again

Like most folks of a certain age, Thanksgiving conjures happy memories of snoring, comatose adults on couches while the kid’s touch football game unfolds outside. After all, it’s not fun until somebody bleeds, right?

These days our betters want to commandeer our Thanksgiving mealtime conversations to topics they believe are more important. As if the day wasn’t already filled with loony relatives and burned casseroles.

Our buddy Ace comes to the rescue with the ultimate guide on how deal with the crazies. Read and enjoy. And comment on which strategy works for you.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Maps With an Attitude

There's a judgmental map of Columbus, Georgia, too.  Click to see it full size.
There’s a judgmental map of Columbus, Georgia, too. Click to see it full size.
This map of Atlanta has been making its way around social media over the past few days. It’s the product of someone calling themself “An Honest Atlantan,” and it’s hosted on a site called Judgmental Maps. The different parts of the region have labels that, like most good satire, have elements of truth to them.

Peachtree City is labeled “Golf Carts.” Decatur is listed as the home of “Dirty Hippies,” while Georgia Tech is labeled “White College.” Downtown Atlanta is labeled “Disappointing Sports Teams” along with other things, while Cobb County is now the “Home of the Braves.” The area containing the proposed city of LaVista Hills is labeled “Swing Voters,” and Pine Lake is a “Hippie Enclave.”

The labels are just one person’s opinions, of course, and if anything, projects like these tend to show more of the bad, and less of the good. Did the author get it right or wrong, and what would you add to the Atlanta map or the one of Columbus? Tell us in the comments.

Jack Kingston Makes a Final Appearance On the Colbert Report

Georgia’s First District Congressman Jack Kingston was the first congressman to appear with Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report’s “Better Know a District.” Tuesday evening, he became the last congressman to appear on Colbert’s Comedy Central gig, as Colbert will be moving to CBS to replace David Letterman.

 
 
One must wonder if Congressman Kingston has a future on television.

Wonder If A Georgia GOP Candidate Would Do This?

Conventional political wisdom sweeping through the nation right now is that Republicans can maintain their House majority – and even retake the Senate – simply by taking aim at ObamaCare.

Now, a congressional candidate from our neighboring state of Alabama is doing just that … literally.

“We’re down here to have a little fun today and talk about two serious subjects: the Second Amendment and see how much damage we can do to this copy of Obamacare,” says Will Brooke, running in the GOP primary for Alabama’s 6th district, in a new video posted earlier this week to YouTube.

We’re wondering if any Georgia GOP candidate would take “shooting down ObamaCare” so literally.

Beebs Birthday Means Free Buckhead Guidebooks

The Buckhead Coalition is offering free copies of its Buckhead Guidebook this weekend to coincide with Justin Bieber’s March 1 birthday.

“In celebration of Justin Bieber leaving his teen-age years this Saturday, and to materially demonstrate the Buckhead community’s welcome mat, we are offering complimentary copies of our Buckhead Guidebook to all Realtors showing homes for sale here,” said former Atlanta Mayor Sam Massell. 

“It is only coincidental”, he added, “that the 20th edition of this all-inclusive area directory has just been published, at the first of this month, in which the hoax attack on Bieber occurred.”   

An Atlanta radio station recently coordinated a campaign in which a fictional group of Buckhead residents, calling themselves the Buckhead Neighborhood Coalition, protested Bieber’s possible relocation to the community.

Massell is president of the Buckhead Coalition, publisher of the Buckhead Guidebook. The Guidebook is the Coalition’s main marketing tool.

Peach Pundit Road Show At The Movies

Come join us next Thursday night as the Peach Pundit Road show visits the movies – and not just any movie but “The Campaign” starring Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis. Michael Clark of the Gwinnett Daily Post says:

It is the best political satire since “Wag the Dog” and makes it thoroughly clear to everyone just how brutal, raw, cynical, petty and phony the American electoral process has become. And all of it is done while making you laugh uncontrollably the entire time.

Details:

Date: Thursday August 23rd
Location: Movie Tavern Tucker 4043 LaVista Road Tucker, GA 30084
Time: The movie will start at around 7:40 PM. Movie Tavern has a eating area so feel free to get there early and stay after the movie ends.

To view Movie Tavern’s menu or to purchase tickets click here. I’m not sure you can purchase tickets today for next Thursday’s movie yet, but I did confirm The Campaign will still be playing at this theater on that date.

As always we look forward to seeing some of you, others not so much.

“…technically correct, but completely useless.”

And now for something completely different (h/t American Digest) –

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter’s position and course to fly to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it up in the window. The sign said ‘WHERE AM I?’ in large letters. People in the tall building drew a sign of their own and held it in one of their own windows. Their sign read: ‘YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.’

The pilot smiled, waved, set a course for SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how he determined their position. The pilot responded: ‘I knew that had to be the Microsoft tech support building in Redmond. The response they gave me was technically correct, but completely useless.’

Vain Atlanta

As if the Real Housewives of Atlanta weren’t enough to make you blow your Christmas cookies into the next county, now we find that Atlantans are quite enamored with themselves.

Atlantans are particularly pleased with themselves, according to the poll, landing behind only Miami and Chicago residents in a ranking of the U.S.’s vainest cities.

LivingSocial conducted a poll back in November, when the rest of us were working for a living. The full findings are here. Interestingly enough, folks in Orlando are more well-groomed than those in the Big A.

So Atlanta, toast yourself in the mirror. This one’s for you…
Read more

Lewis Grizzard – Gone But Not Forgotten

Today would have been Lewis Grizzard’s 65th birthday. His humor and legacy lives on at his website. There’s even a tribute show. Sprayberry’s BBQ named a plate after him. And it’s good, too!

Being Southern, and Georgian in particular, is truly a gift that other Americans simply don’t understand. Lewis could articulate that sentiment better than anyone I’ve heard or read since. After all he said, “God talks like us.”

Fall always reminds me of Lewis since we share a beloved alma mater. His stories about UGA football strike such a chord, sometimes it seems his ghost is still on campus.

T. Kyle King of Dawgsports.com remembers Lewis tailgating before games near his dorm.

During my first two years as a student at the University of Georgia, I lived on campus in Myers Hall. In the fall, Dad would come into town on Saturdays and park next to my dorm, then we would walk down the hill to the stadium for the game.

There, tailgating between two parked cars across from the G.G.S. Building, would be Lewis Grizzard, identifiable by his familiar voice and lack of socks. Dad and I would nod and say hello without breaking stride, but we never bothered him because he wasn’t there as a famous writer; he was there as a fan—as one of us—and it didn’t seem right to disturb him.

Knowing what we now know about Lewis Grizzard’s life—about his inner demons, his excessive drinking, his failed marriages, his absent father, and his health problems—it may well have been the case that what we saw on Saturday mornings were the happiest moments of the syndicated author’s earthly existence. He may never have been more at peace than he was when standing within sight of Sanford Stadium, awaiting kickoff with a chicken leg in one hand and a Jack and Coke in the other.

Mr. King is right. Lewis would have loved Coach Mark Richt.

ToonDawg over at the Anti-Orange Page remembers Lewis firing up the Redcoats before the 1993 Citrus Bowl.

When UGA participated in the 1993 Citrus Bowl versus Ohio State, the Redcoats had to perform at a pep rally at Seaworld. Well, we had already marched in about three or four other parades and had been getting up at seven each morning. Needless to say, we were pooped, and I wasn’t exactly thrilled about doing another parade. As soon as we got up to the front of the crowd, who did we see on stage but ole Lewis himself. I immediately forgot all about my weariness as soon as he started speaking about UGA vs. Ohio State. I wish I could remember his entire speech, but I was laughing too hard. Basically it was about how any Southern team can beat up on a Yankee team, especially UGA.

Over the years, many have compared him to Mark Twain. But Lewis’ tales were more personal. He struck a chord with those of us who complained about the never-ending construction on Peachtree Street, but inwardly welcomed the growth and change because it meant prosperity for Georgia. We all had mamas and grandmothers that instructed with Juicy Fruit gum in one hand and switches in the other. We all celebrated victories and agonized over defeats. We all wept at the death of a beloved dog.

Sometimes I wonder how Lewis would react to today’s media, the hyper-sensitivity of modern society, expensive micro-brewed beer and dogs that fit in purses. He wrote 25 books – just think of the wealth of material he’d have today!

Share your favorite Lewis story/memory in the comments below. And remember, “Be Sweet.”

UPDATE:

Lewis at the Pearly Gates / Mike Luckovich AJC

Thanks Dave in the comments! I had originally planned to include the cartoon, then thought less was better. I should have known better because with Lewis, less was never better. And like Dave, I have a copy of it on my desk. Lewis died four months after Catfish. The story Dave refers to was included in Lewis’ obituary.