Tennessee Battle Plans

So a friend of mine shared this little gem with me on Facebook today. It was written for April Fools but it definitely shows that the GA/TN water issue can make it to national and esteemed publications like Wired Magazine. I’m sure the intent was to make fun of us Georgians, but it does allude to our water issues as well as transportation issues. It’s definitely worth the read and since Mat Honan didn’t write it I’m more than happy to share the link. Here’s the first couple paragraphs to pique your interest.


The War Between the States ended almost 150 years ago, but the Georgia state senate is making threatening noises against its neighbor. It should think twice. Occupying Iraq and Afghanistan is a cakewalk compared to the hellscape that southeast Tennessee poses for an invading army.

Last week, the Georgia state senate voted to sue the state of Tennessee in order to claim a sliver of land that would grant Georgia access to the Tennessee River. Georgia, readers must understand, has mismanaged its own water resources to the point where it now struggles to supply enough water for the residents of Atlanta (and its sprawling suburbs and exurbs) to fill their above-ground pools and wash the TruckNutz on their mini-vans. Dangerously, the state is actually seeking to redraw a border that has kept the peace for over 200 years, and all over a crucial resource — a resource belonging, rightfully, to the Tennessee of my ancestors.



  1. Mike Stucka says:

    This isn’t the first time a Tennesseean has considered the fight. Witness a proclamation:
    WHEREAS, it is deemed better to light a candle than curse the darkness, and better to offer a cool, wet kiss of friendship rather than face a hot and angry legislator gone mad from thirst, and

    Whereas, it is feared that if today they come for our river, tomorrow they might come for our Jack Daniels or George Dickel,

    NOW THEREFORE, In the interest of brotherly love, peace, friendship, mutual prosperity, citywide self promotion, political grandstanding and all that

    I Ron Littlefield, Mayor of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee,

    Do hereby Proclaim that Wednesday, February 27, 2008 shall be known as

    “Give Our Georgia Friends a Drink Day”

  2. saltycracker says:

    The Tennessee was the Cherokee River. Find a section of land up there in the corner of Dade Co. to the river, have it declared a Cherokee Reservation/Casino and then cut a deal with the Cherokee Nation.

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