A New Pope!

BREAKING: As we wait and watch the balcony, who do you think will emerge as the new Pope?

Cardinal Angelo Scola, the archbishop of Milan?

Cardinal Marc Ouellet, the Canadian head of the Vatican’s bishops’ office?

Brazilian Cardinal Odilo Scherer?

Cardinal Peter Erdo of Hungary?

Or an American? Cardinal Sean O’Malley or Cardinal Timothy Dolan?

The new Pope is…. Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina.

He takes the name “Francis I.”

39 comments

  1. Joshua Morris says:

    I think they should have done a TV show called Papal Idol instead. Then at least the masses could feel like they’re part of this, and the winner would matter just about as much.

  2. drjay says:

    so glad the world is being repopeulated, he seems like a popeular choice.

    is this process where the term “holy smoke” comes from???

    • Ellynn says:

      Pope Frances I, in all legal and formal address. But just as Pope John Paul was refernced without the “II” in basic contexts, I’m sure he will be called Pope Francis too. Sort of like not using the “Govenor” when talking about Deal.

    • Ed says:

      Protocol says you can not give yourself a numerical in your name, that is only given if there is predecessor. However, the media will be ignorant of this and label him Francis I.

      • Dave Bearse says:

        You’re correct about tradition, Ed. I thought I’d recently reading that John Paul I broke tradition and set precedent by adding the I himself.

  3. Rick Day says:

    tbh…I was pulling for Cardinal Bruiser

    WASHINGTON—Ahead of the College of Cardinals’ upcoming conclave to select a new pope, a Gallup poll conducted this week found that 99 percent of the global population would prefer that the next head of the Roman Catholic Church be a large, slobbery hound dog with big, saggy jowls. “When presented with a variety of options, respondents across all demographics were nearly unanimous in voicing their preference that Vatican ceremonies, including Easter and Christmas masses, be presided over by a droopy-eyed basset hound with a big, tall pope hat sitting atop his floppy ol’ ears,” said pollster Diane Warnell, who noted that well over 9 out of 10 of those surveyed, including Catholics, expressed a strong desire to see a ceremonially clad dog pontiff roll around on his back in St. Peter’s Basilica, bark to a large crowd of worshippers from a Vatican balcony, or place his front paws up on a table and steal a ham sandwich right off of someone’s plate. “The remaining 1 percent of respondents, however, said they would be open to a hound dog pope if the big guy tuckered himself out after a day of sniffing and chasing and took a doggy nap right there on the altar.” According to numerous reports and allegations, the only hound dog in contention for pope, Cardinal Bruiser, is believed to have sniffed the genitals of at least 32 minors.

  4. Will Durant says:

    Since the new pope is a 76 year-old Jesuit I’m thinking Francis will not be likely to lighten up.

  5. Harry says:

    From LifeSiteNews:

    Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio, now Pope Francis, is known to LifeSiteNews readers as a valiant defender of life and family.

    In terms of homosexual ‘marriage’, Cardinal Bergoglio fought valiantly to have the law in Argentina continue to protect the traditional family.

    In July 2009, he called on the priests of the Archdiocese of Buenos Aires to bring the faithful to an upcoming protest against homosexual “marriage.”

    “Let’s not be naive, we’re not talking about a simple political battle; it is a destructive pretension against the plan of God,” wrote Cardinal Bergoglio in a letter sent to the monasteries of Buenos Aires. “We are not talking about a mere bill, but rather a machination of the Father of Lies that seeks to confuse and deceive the children of God.”

    To the clergy of the parishes, Bergoglio requested that all of them read from the pulpits a declaration defending the true definition and understanding of marriage.

    “The Argentinean people will have to confront, in the coming weeks, a situation whose result could gravely injure the family. We are speaking of a bill regarding marriage between people of the same sex,” a bill that calls into question “the identity, and the survival of the family: father, mother, and children.”

    The latter, warns Bergoglio, might also be threatened by homosexual adoption, which would be a true form of discrimination.

    The country now needs “the special assistance of the Holy Spirit, to place the light of truth in the middle of the darkness of error, to defend us against the enchantment of so many sophistries with which they seek to justify this bill,” he wrote.

    At the same time, in a story that is being much-repeated today, Pope Francis demonstrated his compassion when he visited a hospice on Holy Thursday where he kissed and washed the feet of 12 patients suffering from AIDS, a disease that is often associated with homosexuality.

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