Morning Reads for Thursday, January 24

January 24, 2013 7:49 am

by Bridget Cantrell · 79 comments

I snapped the photo to the right in the CLOB last week.  Kindness is symbolically being scrapped.  C’mon – it’s a little funny.

Cold blast on the way, but little ice for metro Atlanta.  High in 50s today but dropping to 20s tonight.




  • Dearest Coca-Cola, I beg of you to make a Dasani PR campaign like this.  It would pair beautifully with your anti-obesity campaign.
  • In polar opposite fashion – Snoop Dogg makes a Pocket Like Its Hot video.  SMH….Hottt Pockets!
  • Braves make offer for Arizona’s Upton
  • Anthony Bourdain’s 3 days in Atlanta.  Summary: he complains about traffic and then ends up at the Clermont.
  • Haawt.  Evan Longoria saves reporter.  The video is a year old, but I saw it for the first time this week.
  • Styles that take off 10 Years.  Ladies, hemlines that hit below the bottom knob of your knee are unflattering on absolutely everyone.  Tee-length is worse and gives you both fat calves and shortened stature.  Pay a tailor $20 to cut two inches off your favorite suits so that they hit just above the middle of your patella.  I use Gill’s Alterations in the Shops Around Lenox.  A bonus is that any medium-priced suit looks expensive when tailored.
  • Guilty.  It’s Time for a “Slow Conversation” Movement.  I love social media.  And like a smothering relationship, sometimes you need a breather to not lose yourself; to stay interesting and do something worth talking about; to wear high heels versus sweatpants for lack of a better description.  A tandem issue to being a Social Media Zombie is being a Multi-tasking Shuffler.  Let’s go back to being monotaskers and knowing that something is done.
  • Tim Ferris is one of my favorite dorks.  11 Tricks for Perfect Sleep.  Highlights: 67-70 deg air temp in a half military crawl position produces the fastest time to sleep.  That experiment stinks for women I guess – if you sleep facedown it causes your face to wrinkle pre-maturely, and exactly which woman would sleep in a 68 deg house??

Fun Event Announcement.  I will likely forget about this, but if you’re into old British cars or Beatles tribute bands, there’s a free event in Alpharetta on Feb 23 you might want to check out.

Baker January 24, 2013 at 8:53 am

Boy…this is almost like aggregation;)

1) What’s wrong with a 68 degree house?
2) CNN news is kind of Ga-related right? The Daily Show slams CNN for cutting investigative journalism division.
You may not watch CNN or care, but that’s still a depressing commentary on current journalism and where we place our priorities as a society. Meanwhile, Honey Boo Boo, the Human Thumb, and Co just moved into a new McMansion.

Ed January 24, 2013 at 8:54 am

Leave no story un-linked!

FWIW I’ve left the heat off in my house this week. Came in yesterday, it felt warm, checked thermostat said it was 54. I did not complain.

atlanta_advocate January 24, 2013 at 9:00 am


“Dear Dads, how much time are you spending with your kids instead of in the office or in front of the tv? It’s not a popular point to make …”

Actually such points get made all the time. And I await similar comments the next time there is a Million Moms March. Or the next Mothers Against Drunk Driving campaign.

atlanta_advocate January 24, 2013 at 9:08 am

Oh yeah. Forgot about the gun grabbers group Mothers Against Gun Violence.

(Blame the guns and not illegitimacy when statistics show that the vast majority of violent criminals were born out of wedlock. There’s something that you won’t hear Barack Obama – or Mitt Romney for that matter – talk about on Mother’s Day.)

stillaskeptic January 24, 2013 at 1:16 pm

Atlanta_advocate, I have a hunch that you dont know about the specifics of either of these two cases or Chase’s law…

Noway January 24, 2013 at 9:37 am

Panetta approves of women in combat? What a d****bag! Political correctness is killling this country. Don’t know about you but I protect and try to keep the women in my life out of harm’s way.

It’s the natural thing to do for men. Ready for the stereotypes? because here they come: We carry their books home from school. We open doors for them We put out jackets on them when they are cold. We help them cross the street. We love them. We’re sweet to them. We hope against hope that they’ll check the box ‘yes’ on the note we pass them in junior high asking “Do you like me?” They are truly our life’s treasure. Men have been protecting women since Cro-Magnon man put a newly tanned bear-hide coat on his mate.

They are the glue that keeps a family together. They keep we men from acting like immature fools. There is a reason that as a 51 year old man that I sit up a little straighter when being corrected by my 85 year old Momma. Momma is alwayssssssssssssssssss right.

Our wanting to protect women is probably in a man’s gene sequence somewhere. While scientists are looking for the gene that causes Alhzheimers or some other malady, I hope they take a look and find that part of the spiral DNA ladder that makes men naturally want to protect women. I swear to you it’s there.

Now some politically correct a$$hole wants to put them in harm’s way to be killed, maimed or brutalized in other unspeakable ways? What kind of country are we that we want our women fighting on out battle fields? Anybody that truly wants that is f***ed up beyond repair.

And to those who will call my views “out of date” or “old fashioned”, I’m proudly guilty as charged.

Ed January 24, 2013 at 9:41 am

Not sure if serious…

Bridget Cantrell January 24, 2013 at 9:54 am

“Anybody that truly wants that is f***ed up beyond repair.”

Live and let live…or the opposite in this case, Mr. Cro-Magnon. Shall we all remain secretaries? THAT’s F’d up.

The men I date have the qualities you describe. The men I work with do not (and should not) offer me their jacket.

And it’s not DNA – it’s a hormone. Oxytocin. The love hormone. The protective nature is connected to people you love. Men for women, women for children, and even women for men or any other combination – there are multiple people (both male and female) I would take a bullet for…because I love them.

For a woman to love her country enough that she would take a bullet for someone she’s never met – let her.

Noway January 24, 2013 at 10:07 am

Hey Brig, did I say that you should all be secretaries? Nope. Retract your claws and appreciate a man who wants to protect you from harm at all costs. I don’t want you taking a bullet.

And why don’t them men you work with have that quality? I’m sorry for them.

greencracker January 24, 2013 at 11:41 am

Bridg, dear, let’s go have a drink and talk about how very apt and fresh it is, as assertive women, to be told something about our claws. lolz

Bridget Cantrell January 24, 2013 at 11:54 am

That’s a good idea in theory, but hopefully there will be a man there to pick up the tab – Lord knows I get confused when trying to use my own debit card. A mani/pedi spa date is probably more appropriate for our claws anyway.

Read any one of these 800+ reviews for the Bic Cristal for Her Pen. Hilarious.

“I tried using a man’s pen (as soon as my husband showed me how to work one) but I found that when I tried to write out my recipes or my diary, the pens just didn’t have staying power. I even tried using a mechanical pencil once, but I was so confused I just sat in the kitchen and cried, and cried until my husband finally bought me something pretty. Now, finally, with Bic for her I can complete writing out my menstrual calendar without it ‘running out of ink’. Thanks Bic!”

David Staples January 24, 2013 at 11:56 am

Now there’s a reasonable suggestion… what are you doing out of the kitchen anyways? 😉

Bob Loblaw January 24, 2013 at 11:56 am


Noway January 24, 2013 at 12:51 pm

Brig, is that a real ad on Amazon? Funny as hell!

David Staples January 24, 2013 at 1:04 pm

It’s a review. I thought this one was funnier:

“BUYER BEWARE These pens do not, as the packaging infers, have any vibration settings. – Adriana”

eddiep January 24, 2013 at 10:59 am

Very, very few who have personal experience in ground combat would jeopardize their comrades by supporting this concept.

dsean January 24, 2013 at 10:06 am

I take it more of a recognition that the nature of armed conflict has changed. There aren’t really “front lines” and “combat roles” any more. Every soldier in a conflict zone is on the front line and in a combat role, even if they’re nominally in a supporting position. Asymmetrical warfare means everyone is a target, male or female. The new policy allowing female soldiers to enter formal combat roles and go on combat patrols seems like a normal evolution of an army confronting the changing war rather than a paean to political correctness.

David Staples January 24, 2013 at 10:09 am

Last I checked, nobody is forcing women into the military. If a woman *wants* to serve on the front lines (my mind flashes back to the movie GI Jane) then why should we tell her no?

Noway January 24, 2013 at 9:43 am

Ed, 1000000000% serious.

Noway January 24, 2013 at 9:49 am

Hey, Ed. The next time you hear a strange noise in the house at 3am, send your wife to investigate while you hide in the closet. She’ll love you for it.

Ed January 24, 2013 at 10:08 am

So much fail. So little a post.

The Last Democrat in Georgia January 24, 2013 at 10:08 am

There’s a name that I have for the type of situation that you describe of particularly strange (and unwanted) noises in the house at 3am (you know, the kind that break into your house): TARGET PRACTICE! :)

David Staples January 24, 2013 at 10:12 am

If I’m traveling on business, should I tell my wife to hide in the closet and wait for a police *man* to show up to protect her or should she just grab one of the guns and protect herself?

Noway January 24, 2013 at 10:15 am

Well, David, because you are a caring “man”, I’m sure you’ve taught her or had her trained to handle the weapon in your absence. I’m sure your wife could take care of the task at hand.

Ed January 24, 2013 at 10:23 am

Go on…

Noway January 24, 2013 at 10:41 am

You’re right, Ed about the ‘go on.’ This is great watching the responses!!!

Bridget Cantrell January 24, 2013 at 10:26 am

“Had her trained”….@$$

Noway January 24, 2013 at 10:30 am’re hysterically funnny. “Had her trained” simply means that maybe ol David enrolled her in a gun safety course and now, she can handle the old pistola better than David himself. How am I an ass? Please re-read my posting. There is nothing but love and respect there for the females in our society. I swear I can’t see or understand you’re venom. It’s fun to watch, however!

David Staples January 24, 2013 at 10:32 am

Because of course being a woman she’s not capable of enrolling in a gun safety course by herself, right?

Noway January 24, 2013 at 10:37 am

God, this is great!! I had no clue my response would bring out all of this indignation!! Let’s see. David…I’m sure your wife has the ability to use her cell and call the local NRA trainer and arrange her very, own gun-safety course. Let me re-read this for political correctness…Nothing I can see as totally horrible in this sentence. Ok, let’s hit the ‘send’ button….

David Staples January 24, 2013 at 10:50 am

Then why use the phrase “maybe ol David enrolled her in a gun safety course”? She’s more than capable of using Google to find the closest gun range / store and calling them up on her very own little cell phone to ask them about a gun safety course. (Yes, I even let her have her very own phone! 😉 )

Noway January 24, 2013 at 10:57 am

You’re offended that I suggested that you took the initiative in this case to enroll her, or even both of you, in a safety course? The part that pisses you off is that I suggested that you made the call to find the trainer. Sounds like a helpful gesture on your part if that did, in fact, happen. God, this site needs it own psychiatrist!!! Can Charlie take up a collection for one?

David Staples January 24, 2013 at 11:03 am

I never said I was offended or pissed off about anything you’ve said here. Just providing an alternate point of view. My wife and I consider ourselves equals in our relationship, whereas your protectionist view sounds (even if unintentionally) subservient.

Noway January 24, 2013 at 10:59 am

David, you aren’t gonna be mad at ol Noway if I asked you if you held the door open for her at the restaurant the last time yall went out are you? Or or or or or, helped her carry in the groceries from Publix? LMFAO!

Noway January 24, 2013 at 11:25 am

Hey Bridget, I’ll be you were pissed when Brent Musburger calle the Alabama quarterback’s girlfriend “lovely!!” To quote Col. Kurtz from Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness, “the horror, the horror…” LOL!

Ed January 24, 2013 at 11:34 am

FWIW I was because I didn’t want to hear the creepy ramblings of an old dude during a football game.

Noway January 24, 2013 at 1:20 pm

Well, Ed, we’re all sorry you were offended. Isn’t is strange that you were offended when the woman who was the subject of those “creepy” comments told reporters the next day that she wasn’t offended at all and that most women would feel “flattered.” Is your framed photo of Alan Alda personally autographed?

Bob Loblaw January 24, 2013 at 11:33 am

For realz. My wife’s “had me trained” on myriad topics and if gathered around the dining room table and such a comment was made about said training, I promise you’d laugh at the comment.

David Staples January 24, 2013 at 11:38 am

I probably would laugh, but your wife training you to do things she wants you to do is a bit different than a husband enrolling a wife in a course in something for her in a tone that he’s doing it because she’s unable to. My wife is still working on training me to take out the trash and do the dishes. 😛

Bob Loblaw January 24, 2013 at 11:48 am

You need remedial classes if that’s all you’re trained to do! You aren’t digging holes for plants (annuals, I might add)? Keeping her car washed? Tilling her garden?

David Staples January 24, 2013 at 11:55 am

Nope! :-) Actually, I’m the plant guy around the farm. She takes care of the horses, I plant the fruit trees and the garden and what not. But moreso in a self-sufficiency kind of way than a “hey, that’s pretty” kind of way. There’s not much that gets planted for looks around here. From blueberry bushes to apple trees, I look for things that either will provide food or that I can eventually make money on somehow. (Looking at propagating / growing out some Japanese maples for instance.)

As for the car… she drives a farm truck… the rain takes care of that chore for us. :-)

Bob Loblaw January 24, 2013 at 11:58 am

Dude, you’re trained.

David Staples January 24, 2013 at 12:12 pm

I’d disagree. I wouldn’t call myself a radical “prepper” per-se (like on the tv show Doomsday Preppers), but I do read Survivalist Boards and just overall tend to lean towards a self-sufficiency type lifestyle. Wanting to be self-sufficient has nothing to do with being trained. But I did grow up in Boy Scouts where the motto was “Be Prepared”. :-)

David Staples January 24, 2013 at 10:30 am

My wife is probably more similar to Bridget than the fragile Georgia peach / southern belle you have in mind. She’s a Mechanical Engineer, which is a field that is mostly men. She deals with contractors on construction and job sites on a regular basis just like any man would.

Here’s another example. We were at Tractor Supply this past weekend buying a few things and while I was putting the toddler in the truck, she walked over to grab the 100 gallon Rubbermaid heavy duty stock tank we’d just purchased that was sitting out front. One of the older men said “here, let me get that for you”. Her response? “Why?” as she just picked it up and carried it over to the truck. She said he looked at her like she had three heads.

Younger women tend to be a bit more independent than you may realize. :-)

Noway January 24, 2013 at 10:35 am

David, please tell me you’re wife wasn’t mad at his offer to help? And I’m not saying she or the rest of “today’s” woman aren’t independent. I’m sure they are. That poor old man was just doing what men do. No harm, no foul in the offer, at least.

David Staples January 24, 2013 at 10:37 am

Oh, she wasn’t mad. She just laughed.

Noway January 24, 2013 at 10:39 am

She thought his offer was terribly condescnding? Or did she at least thank him? Where is Hellen Reddy when we need her? “I am woman hear me roar…”

David Staples January 24, 2013 at 10:47 am

Not condescending… just unnecessary. Do you think he would have offered to move the stock tank for me too? (You know, being a man and all.) If you’d stop “protecting” women (which I think some of us are interpreting as you treating them like they’re fragile and incapable of really doing anything for themselves) then perhaps you’d see how capable they really are. :-)

Bob Loblaw January 24, 2013 at 11:14 am

LOL! In all candor, @Noway, there’s no way you’re gonna win this one…

Noway January 24, 2013 at 11:19 am

You’re correct, of course, Bob, but I never thought being protective of women on the front lines of war and loving and sweet to the women in my life would evoke the cat-hissing of Bridget or the ‘enlightened-male’ beating around my head and shoulders from Mr. Staples. I think this is the most fun I have had, posting wise, in a long time on here. Let me scroll down and prepare for the latest salvo!!

Bob Loblaw January 24, 2013 at 11:25 am

Yeah, dude. You’ve stepped in it big today :). You just made it worse with your cat-hissing comment, too! Boy, you’re making watching budget presentations tolerable today.

Noway January 24, 2013 at 11:27 am

Glad to be of service! Glad to help out there, Bob!

dsean January 24, 2013 at 10:09 am

Maybe the dads should support decriminalizing and regulating natural pot so their kids won’t turn to the legal synthetic stuff that presents an actual danger.

David Staples January 24, 2013 at 10:19 am

From the Warner Robins article…

“A story in the Air Force Times last week reported that the Air Force Times itself, an independent publication that can be found throughout offices at Robins, was among the objectionable items, specifically an issue that featured two uniformed airmen on the cover breast feeding.”

Ed January 24, 2013 at 10:40 am

noway: I too love the ladies and I want to know when else should I subjugate my women?

Noway January 24, 2013 at 10:44 am

LMAO! How is protecting them subjugating them? Where in any of my posts did I say the needed to be subservient? God, yall are funnier than Carson.

Ed January 24, 2013 at 10:46 am

I had forgotten they are far too delicate a creature to withstand the rigors of the contemporary world and must rely on male protection.

Noway January 24, 2013 at 10:51 am

They might not have to rely on it, but belivee it when I say that they appreciate the gesture.

Noway January 24, 2013 at 10:49 am

David, let me ask you a question. Let’s examine the scenario where a man, much like yourself, I suppose, is ready to leave on a business trip and looks down at his seven year old son and says, “You’re the man of house now. You take care of Mommy while I’m gone.” Now, we both know, he doesn’t have the ability to do so, but he swells with pride and takes the charge seriously. Scenarios like that socialize protective behavior at a very early age. Should men just not say things like that anymore?

David Staples January 24, 2013 at 10:54 am

Just a difference of personalities. That doesn’t really sound like something I’d say, even if I had a son. I just don’t have a reasonable expectation that a seven year old would be able to protect their mom from an intruder without a firearm, and I’m certainly not providing free and open access to a firearm to a seven year old. If I did have a son, should I direct her to hand the gun over to the seven year old so he can protect her? 😉

Noway January 24, 2013 at 11:04 am

I have never said they weren’t capable. I know they are. More women are graduating from colleges than guys theses days. Their competence has never been in question to me. And I will never, ever stop protecting them. It’s not in my DNA or Oxytocin, as Bridget so graciously corrected me.

Noway January 24, 2013 at 11:06 am

You miss the whole point. Sure, Dave, have your wife give the gun to your would-be seven year old son. You’re getting ridiculous.

David Staples January 24, 2013 at 11:08 am

So then perhaps you can explain how you would expect a seven year old to “take care of Mommy while I’m gone”?

Noway January 24, 2013 at 11:11 am

Have you never heard of s scenario like that before? The dad tells the young son to take care of the mom, winks conspiratorily at the mom afterward, both enjoying the sweetness of the moment? Is the dad really gonna rely on junior to defend the family against an invader? Of course not. You really are quite literal.

Bob Loblaw January 24, 2013 at 11:30 am

For real. Helps a boy feel like a man for a minute. Shows his dad trusts in him. C’mon, Staples.

David Staples January 24, 2013 at 11:34 am

Sorry, guess I’m just not feeling it today… I work too much in the literal world. :-)

Just out of curiosity, would you tell your seven year old daughter to take care of mommy while gone as well?

Noway January 24, 2013 at 11:38 am

Bobbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb, dude, you just stepped in it almost as bad as me!!!!!!!!!!! The “feel like a man” comment will get you slammed to the mat for a three count. If you and I were a tag team, they’ve already slammed my head into the turnbuckle and you are fixin’ to get the Figure Four put on you. I’ll try and recover and come to your rescue!

David Staples January 24, 2013 at 11:39 am

I think someone has had enough coffee. Or something.

Bob Loblaw January 24, 2013 at 11:55 am

I read John Eldridge’s book. Sorry. A dad needs to instill a sense of masculinity in a boy. Just a belief.

Good question, Staples. I think I’d probably say something to encourage a daughter to take care of her mommy, too, albeit in a manner that may be different. Kind of like you and the advice to a son you don’t have, I’m a dad of boys, so I’m maybe a fish out of water.

No way I’m getting the figure four on me! I’ll grab a chair and whack somebody or pull an object out of my boot and jab them with it while you distract the ref.

Noway January 24, 2013 at 11:59 am

LOLOLOL! Fight dirty, my friend!

David Staples January 24, 2013 at 12:13 pm

You guys lost me on the figure four. Is that like half of a figure eight?

Noway January 24, 2013 at 11:43 am

You don’t appreciate a metaphor, David?

Noway January 24, 2013 at 12:26 pm

LOL! David, this is wrestling lingo from the 70’s. One of the finishing moves of the heels and bad guys back then was a leg lock move called a figure four. It was a submisssion move that actually hurt like hell and could literally break your leg!

stillaskeptic January 24, 2013 at 1:33 pm

Somewhat of a slow newsday, I guess; an enjoyable read about a slow moving conversation; a series of threads hijacked by Noway, the guys who’s been slow on reading the past 40 or so years of feminist though… Is he the new Ed?

Ed January 24, 2013 at 1:39 pm


Noway January 24, 2013 at 2:12 pm

Skeptic, Morning Reads, are by definition “open threads” and cannot be hijacked. Thanks for playing.

stillaskeptic January 24, 2013 at 9:30 pm

Ohhhh…, everything makes a lot more sense now. Thanks for the heads up.

saltycracker January 24, 2013 at 3:06 pm

Women in combat: It is voluntary, optional and they have to qualify.
Combat assignments also get more pay, big bonuses and more is high tech, less physical.
If momma don’t want to shoot, she don’t have to.
Never met a right winger against those principals.

We should respect individuality and the laws of contracts.
Geez, next you’ll be demanding spousal rights and affirmative action.

saltycracker January 24, 2013 at 3:08 pm

modify: principles

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