Now, look. I’m no math genius who can make stuff up like Nate Silver, but I knows me a boondoggle when I sees it. When Georgia’s “state evalyuashun of teecher effiktivnes” shows, and I quote, “0.32 percent of teachers being classified as ineffective, [and only] 5.95 percent as developing/needs improvement…,” at the same time as Georgia’s graduation rate (67%) is “lower than every other state except Nevada and New Mexico. And far lower than the graduation rates of Mississippi (75 percent) or Alabama (72 percent)” Well then, I think we are doing it wrong. Really, really, wrong.
When we have a lower graduation rate than Alabama or Mississippi, it’s time to address our problem. We need fewer dumbass students in Georgia schools. Educating dumbasses, and trying to get them out of high school and into college, takes up over half the State budget! Enough, already! And good grief, imagine if the 75% of our teachers who are “proficient” actually got more than 2/3 of our State dumbasses into college! Georgia’s university system would collapse. (Unless, of course, they all went to Auburn and played football.)
Clearly, Georgia needs a dumbass tax. But since “tax” is an unacceptable word, we need a “educational dumbass user fee,” levied on any idiot who can’t get out of high school. Of course, this will be seen as racist, since at the national level, nearly 80% of whites and asians get high school diplomas, as opposed to only 55% of blacks and hispanics. To which I can only say: “Tough nougies, brown folks! If you think an educational dumbass user fee is unjust, try living with reality.” Reality says that if you don’t graduate high school, you “will earn $200,000 less than a high school graduate and almost $1 million less than a college graduate.” So there! Pay an educational dumbass user fee for dropping out of high school, and think of it as preparation for all the money you won’t earn as an adult.
Now, if you seriously want to address the non-graduation rate of Georgia’s dumbasses, taxing them is a great idea. Everyone knows that if you want less of something, you tax it. Duh. But any teacher who is willing -and able- to take one of our Georgia dumbasses and get them out of high school and into a college or a vo-tech program so that they can earn a living? Well, that teacher deserves a big, fat, almost-like-you-won-the-lottery bonus. A huge bonus. A 100% of their salary bonus, and yes, I am serious.
Georgia taxpayers open their wallets every year to the endless maw of education funding. Every year, by every measure, we see that money wasted. Educationally, Georgia ranks last or close to last by every measure available. It’s not money. It’s how we spend the money. We should either pay our teachers more for the –obviously- hard work they do at educating Georgias dumbasses, or we keep listening to the “educational community” who tells us we must throw more state money into the same process that gives us crappy results every year. It’s for “the children” after all.
Me? I’m for the dumbass tax. Dedicate all the proceeds from that tax to teachers who get a particular dumbass out of high school and into college, and let that teacher’s bonus be up to 100% of their regular salary. Let’s pay teachers for what they can do. And let’s do it now, before Georgia takes a permanent backseat to Mississipi and Alabama -for crying out loud!