Are Teachers Is Just Fine!

Now, look. I’m no math genius who can make stuff up like Nate Silver, but I knows me a boondoggle when I sees it. When Georgia’s “state evalyuashun of teecher effiktivnes” shows, and I quote, “0.32 percent of teachers being classified as ineffective, [and only] 5.95 percent as developing/needs improvement…,” at the same time as Georgia’s graduation rate (67%) is “lower than every other state except Nevada and New Mexico. And far lower than the graduation rates of Mississippi (75 percent) or Alabama (72 percent)” Well then, I think we are doing it wrong. Really, really, wrong. 

When we have a lower graduation rate than Alabama or Mississippi, it’s time to address our problem. We need fewer dumbass students in Georgia schools. Educating dumbasses, and trying to get them out of high school and into college, takes up over half the State budget! Enough, already!  And good grief, imagine if the 75% of our teachers who are “proficient” actually got more than 2/3 of our State dumbasses into college! Georgia’s university system would collapse. (Unless, of course, they all went to Auburn and played football.)

Clearly, Georgia needs a dumbass tax. But since “tax” is an unacceptable word, we need a “educational dumbass user fee,” levied on any idiot who can’t get out of high school. Of course, this will be seen as racist, since at the national level, nearly 80% of whites and asians get high school diplomas, as opposed to only 55% of blacks and hispanics. To which I can only say: “Tough nougies, brown folks! If you think an educational dumbass user fee is unjust, try living with reality.” Reality says that if you don’t graduate high school,  you “will earn $200,000 less than a high school graduate and almost $1 million less than a college graduate.” So there! Pay an educational dumbass user fee for dropping out of high school, and think of it as preparation for all the money you won’t earn as an adult.

Now, if you seriously want to address the non-graduation rate of Georgia’s dumbasses, taxing them is a great idea. Everyone knows that if you want less of something, you tax it. Duh. But any teacher who is willing -and able- to take one of our Georgia dumbasses and get them out of high school and into a college or a vo-tech program so that they can earn a living? Well, that teacher deserves a big, fat, almost-like-you-won-the-lottery bonus. A huge bonus. A 100% of their salary bonus, and yes, I am serious.

Georgia taxpayers open their wallets every year to the endless maw of education funding. Every year, by every measure, we see that money wasted. Educationally, Georgia ranks last or close to last by every measure available. It’s not money. It’s how we spend the money. We should either pay our teachers more for the –obviously- hard work they do at educating Georgias dumbasses, or we keep listening to the “educational community” who tells us we must throw more state money into the same process that gives us crappy results every year. It’s for “the children” after all.

Me? I’m for the dumbass tax. Dedicate all the proceeds from that tax to teachers who get a particular dumbass out of high school and into college, and let that teacher’s bonus be up to 100% of their regular salary. Let’s pay teachers for what they can do. And let’s do it now, before Georgia takes a permanent backseat to Mississipi and Alabama -for crying out loud!



  1. Noway says:

    Love the passion here, Mike. How about ending social promotion at any grade? And if the classes get all backed up with more dumbasses, tough s**t.

    • Stefan says:

      If you end social promotion, it will just lower the graduation rate. Which is why graduation rate isn’t the best metric, but I digress.

      What you really need is more gays. That will increase the tax base while producing fewer children. If you let them adopt it will help even more, but we don’t want to encourage either of those, right?

      • ??? I’m not sure what you mean, Stefan. But I did note this from the article:
        “We know that most students who drop out do so because they say they find high school unrelentingly boring and irrelevant.” -State School Superintendent John Barge.

        • Stefan says:

          One of the most vexing problems with schools, is that most of the solutions (for instance, smaller class sizes) require more money. Schools are primarily funded with property taxes. Nobody wants to see their property taxes go up. So to achieve the goal without either increasing property tax rates you need to increase property values or reduce the number of children that the schools need to serve.

          Can you think of a group of people that might help you with both goals? I can.

          • Look, I appreciate a threadjack as much as the next guy, but this is about paying teachers bonuses for doing the hard work they do. Schools get plenty of money -2/3 of all local property taxes and half the State budget, and lord only knows how much from the feds. Let’s not forget e-SPLOSTs, either. But in spite of all those revenue sources, our public education system is an abysmal failure, and the people who get hurt the most by that failure are minorities and poor kids. We need to do something different.

            • Stefan says:

              Well, it’s less of a threadjack than an amusing aside, because you’ll need money to pay for those teacher bonuses or whatever program we seek to use to improve the schools.

              • Baker says:

                How many people employed by the Atlanta school system never have anything to do with actually teaching a kid?

                This is where it kills me when every time someone proposes a cut in govt spending or cutting govt jobs, Dems come out of the woodwork screaming we won’t have teachers, police or firefighters. There are a boatload of other govt jobs other than those 3. There are a boatload of non-teaching jobs in the school systems, trim some of that fat and then there might magically be some more $$.

  2. D_in_ATL says:

    What a pointless rant. But it’s pretty much what I’ve come to expect from this site whether the discussion is education or gun-control or budgets. Mostly what I see is this blathering vomit of anger. So tiring; is there any chance y’all can start taking yourselves seriously?

    • I think I may just delete your comments -they’re just so tiresome. Is there any chance you can take yourself seriously and offer a point, a counter-point or some value to the discussion?

    • Rick Day says:

      The system is only as good as the curriculum. The problem is HS is geared to spit out cogs in a manufacturing economy. Home/neighborhood internet based schooling is the way to go. Put your money there, instead of brick and mortar property that only last 15 years. Invest instead, in a lifetime.

  3. John Konop says:

    The biggest issue with drop-out rates has to do with No Child Left Behind. We have already scene massive improvement with places that get waivers give students the option to track toward their aptitude, rather than the NCLB college prep or out track. The states that have lowest dropout rates have vocational track options. BTW we have 3 million job openings in vo-tech jobs…………..

    We have teachers pounding square pegs into round holes, and we complaign about the results.

    • Charlie says:

      John, how many years ago did Georgia get a waiver from NCLB? Find a new central problem to all the woes that existed with Georgia before and after NCLB. There are many more issues than your pet whipping post.

  4. dicecon says:

    So I think you’re angry, but I can’t tell if I’m mistaking hyperbole for actual political philosophy. Maybe this is mixed of both.

    I’d just change it from a dumbass tax to a 5th year high school fee. Fees seem to sound better and the fee could go directly to the school thus rewarding teachers who retain dumbasses so that eventually enough dumbasses will be retained who are then taught by dumbasses on a net zero cost over time. Possibly this could become a profitable babysitting career.

    But yes, seriously, the system has to find a way to effectively identify bad teachers. Personally, I think the administration of the school should be given more power to rid themselves of these “dangers” to the community balanced by a simple appeal system.

  5. SourGwinnett says:

    I applaud your post.

    Too many times I’ve seen people being socially promoted through classes and I find it a travesty to the child to be treated with such disdain. So many times I’ve heard that children progress at different rates depending on too many factors. Why is it so important to move them forward if they aren’t ready? Isn’t that a form of child abuse? “You haven’t learned this but too bad you have to learn this harder thing that is based on what you just proved you haven’t learned yet.”

    I don’t think it’s leaving a child behind to hold them back a grade if they aren’t ready. We don’t throw people out of a plane with a bolt of fabric hoping they make a parachute on the way down. Why throw a child into the next grade expecting them to succeed with even more hurdles when they couldn’t handle the current hurdles?

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