Election Over, On To Matters Of Importance

Today’s Courier Herald Column:

Those who have been on a four year campaign to elect a president have had a full week plus a few days to accept the results and gloat or pout.  Regardless which end of the spectrum you were on, your actions now won’t change the outcome of the election.  Instead, it is time to become part of “normal” society again.  This week should allow plenty of time for that.  It is time to put petty arguments aside and focus on things that matter.

After all, there are very important things going on.  First and foremost of these is the “Clean Old-fashioned Hate” rivalry this Saturday in Athens.  When the rest of the world is falling apart around you, it’s important to keep your priorities intact.  And Georgia has a higher priority this week than most years.  Beating the future engineering professionals from North Avenue is essential if Georgia is to continue toward its rightful place in a National Championship game.

Likewise, those poor misguided young men from Tech have their priorities this week too.  Their only joy in life comes from the possibility of keeping UGA from accomplishing something that would make them happy.  Tech, after all, is an unhappy place filled with students that don’t understand why anyone else can or should be happy.  Their entire mission is to stop happiness.  Georgia must not let this happen. 

Some of you may have a more difficult week with this than others, as you come from a tragically mixed family that may have allowed a Tech sympathizer to marry into your fold.  While I’m sure this may have seemed like a good idea at the time, you probably won’t remember why this happened when you have to look at him eating your turkey and dressing Thursday.  You also won’t have to worry about doing any of the talking, as he will already know everything and will be more than willing to share.

It’s not like they really have anything to brag about, either, but if you have one of these at Thanksgiving dinner you’re going to hear some talk about being “Coastal Division Champions” or some other nonsense.  If you hear this, be careful about saying “but you’re 6 and 5?”.  Under no circumstances do you want to enter into a battle of statistics with one of these fine folks.  He will employ a mind numbing trick of using multiple charts and graphs – maybe even a power point – to prove that Tech is better.

He’ll then likely say something like “…and 1990 is so much more recent than 1980.”  Don’t hit him, no matter how much you want to.  Just think of something soothing, like the color of baby blue.  You know, the color of that fierce University of North Carolina team that Tech tied in 1990.  I think the SEC has a bylaw that says if you tie UNC you can’t be the national champion.  The ACC, having no shame, overlooks this travesty.

The important part of Thursday is that, like him or not, you let this person into your family and now you have to find a way to live with him.  And, of course, you really don’t want to have to live with him at Christmas if Georgia doesn’t get the job done on Saturday.  Losing such important contests can lead to unimaginable suffering until the next one comes around and you can vanquish him again.

If you cannot relate to any of the above, then I have to assume you either moved here from somewhere else or you come from one of those strange families who only send their children to Mercer or Emory.  My bible says God still loves you anyway though I still feel like you’re missing out on a great part of being a Georgian.

There have been times when Georgia Tech has cheated and thus won this game.  Hopefully this week will not be one of those occasions.  If it is, I “will not be happy”.  But I will still get up Sunday morning, proud to be a bulldog, glad to be a Georgian, and graced to be an American.

I just wish more people could just feel that way about the election.


  1. Just remember that because Tech tied Notre Dame in Atlanta in 1980, UGA was able to rise to the number 1 position. In essence, your 1980 Championship was due to our hard work. Tech fans quickly realized what a mistake it was to give UGA such a prize and we aim to not let it happen again. It will take years for you appreciate that losing Saturday is best for everyone, and essential to saving the Republic, but trust me it is.

  2. Ed says:

    KNOWN FACT: UGA is an OK school and team but it is no Georgia State. Also, the latest addition to GT’s campus came from GSU discarding its old dorms, so yeah, Tech can live off our scraps too.

  3. Jackster says:

    Clearly Athens A&M has traded their prominence in academics for prominence in athletics. If the young men and women that Athens A&M has hired to compete against other schools can generate enough revenue to cover their pay and more, then they should also be covering any budget shortfalls.

    Unfortunately, because Athens A&M has had their conference application rejected from the NFL’s minor league, they will have to continue to operate under the auspices of an educational system. For this reason, I call on the Regents to cut funding to UGA in the amount proportional to the gross revenues generated by the athletics program.

    because they sure as hell can’t cover any academic shortfalls. buuurrrn

  4. Rick Day says:

    I got no dog (or bugs) in this hunt, but having Tech as a neighbor has taught me one thing. After hosting dozens of greek events in the event center, and the Tech kids who come out and rage all night (yes, I typed ‘rage’).

    The unemployed raggedy street urchins (also known as ‘normal kids’) actually look DOWN in the college kids, or the gainfully employed (also disdainfully known as ‘bros n hos’, typically *not* urban types).

    Say what you want about your silly school sports, the Tech kids DO know how to throw one down. All the UGA kids can do is throw one up.

  5. saltycracker says:

    Statistically speaking the book is that during those fours hours on Saturday that crime will drop 83% in Georgia.

    • At least while the Dwags (proper spelling for uga fans) are playing the crime rate drops so much. Maybe they ought to just change the uga uniforms to orange so that the players can get used to wearing prison garb.

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