by Charlie

Happy Birthday Ed

With one hour left to go, we probably should wish a Happy Birthday to front page contributor Ed.

Fitting that this birthday is on a day of rest, because that’s the one thing we know he’s good at.

Hope it was a good one Ed, and we hope this post doesn’t wake you, wherever you are.

286 comments

  1. Ed says:

    MORE FELICITIES!

    Although I note there are heretofore a total of 0 (zero) comments.

    Seems appropriate.

  3. Ed says:

    “Fitting that this birthday is on a day of rest, because that’s the one thing we know he’s good at.”

    ICARUS HAS JOKES!

  4. Ed says:

    I’d like to point out, my birthday was Easter in the Orthodox Church.

    What is Easter but Jesus’ (re)birthday.

    That means we share the same birthday.

    I mean, how many similarities do you need before you realize I am god?

  5. Calypso says:

    I would wish you a Happy Birthday, but I don’t want to interrupt your conversation…with yourself.

  13. Ed says:

    You know the great song “Happy Birthday” is still copywritten (or trademarked, whichever one) and even fictional characters can not sing it without paying royalties on it.

    I swear I heard that once. Can anyone confirm? What a fantastic birthday gift that would be.

    • Charlie says:

      If a fictional character sings the song, to whom is the bill for the royalty sent?

      Likewise, if a fictional character eats a giraffe, can it still be considered kosher if it ever was?

      • Calypso says:

        I always heard that it was against the law to sing Happy Birthday to a giraffe, unless it was to that trade-marked giraffe from Toys ‘R’ Us, in which case the trade-mark requirement was already met.

  14. Ed says:

    Yeah I have no idea on any of those… See this is why I want these things clarified. I will not rest until I find someone who will do just that.

    • Calypso says:

      Will you rest if Charlie and I just promise not to sing Happy Birthday to you? That way, we won’t be bucking the system, upsetting the applecart, defying the man, flaunting the law, or otherwise putting in peril our status as freemen currently without felonies (speaking only for myself, of course).

  16. Ed says:

    I’d like to point out, reports of this thread’s demise are exaggerated. I was merely taking a day off hence my inactivity.

    • Calypso says:

      Who’s the naked guy wearing the the aviator goggles passed-out on the couch next to chicken?

    • Calypso says:

      This party’s just getting cranked up. Why you wanna pull the plug? Charlie said we can keep things rocking until August 13. That’s when we have to have the kegs returned to get our deposit back.

      • Doug Grammer says:

        I’ve seen threads get closed down within 2 hours, regardless of what the expiration date says.

        • Calypso says:

          Cool. I wrote a justification for the extension request on the back of a 60″ Sony 3D HDTV and shipped it to your home. If you have trouble reading it let me know, as it was difficult writing around and between all the input connectors.

          I also enclosed a $100 bill so you would have something with which to clean the dust off the screen after unpacking it.

          The giraffe is shipping under separate cover.

          Why does Doug not like our raucous little birthday party?

          • Ed says:

            Suck up. I was merely going to leave the request in a brand new Lamborghini parked outside his house but I was only going to leave him the keys to the car. I mean, you know, if he wants the Lambo (fully paid for and insured) he has the keys. Otherwise it’ll make a nice lawn ornament propped up on some cinder blocks.

            • Doug Grammer says:

              A lambo will make me withdraw my motion, but I think it’s failed for lack of a second.

    • Ed says:

      Hey man, it’s a free country man! We don’t need you harshing our mellow man! Just take your bad vibes elsewhere!

    • Calypso says:

      I’m out getting fresh kegs right now, should be back early afternoon. There’s a six-pack in the fridge until then.

      B.B. and Eric are going to sit in for a jam session later today. Try to have the place cleaned up a little for them.

      • Calypso says:

        But he’s been here all along, sleeping it off in the laundryroom, wedged between the dryer and the washing machine. Besides, look at the byline at the top of this post and you’ll recollect that it was Charlie who threw this party in the first place.

        • Ed says:

          Yeah, but remember the “No Old Dudes Allowed” rule? He’s in violation! We must have standards!

          • Calypso says:

            It was I toward whom you directed that assinine rule. And I’m staying until Mick and Keith finish their set.

              • Calypso says:

                Look, I know you feel like a special boy and all, but your friggin’ birthday was over two months ago. The slack we’ve been cutting you is tightening up now.

                Quit pissing and moaning and get this place cleaned up. Charlie invited Bette Midler to come by this evening to sing some show tunes.

  32. Calypso says:

    Good, I’m getting more beer. Lawton’s bringing the vegetable soup, he said it’s Charlie’s favorite. Wonder if it goes with chocolate cake and Guinness?

    What happened to the giraffe?

  41. Calypso says:

    Kent, go to the store a buy 10,000 marbles please. No, make that 20,000 marbles, 10,000 for Lawton and 10,000 for the parade.

    Oh, and a couple of cans of peas for the vegetable soup he’s making for Charlie.

  43. Ed says:

    Hey Lawton, have you considered a hobby of any sort? You seem to have a lot of free time. I’ve hear philately is fun.

    • Lawton Sack says:

      I enjoy long strolls on the beach under the moonlight, except for the jellyfish. My main hobby is to annoy Jason Pye, though.

      3,031 marbles.

      Please upgrade WordPress to 3.3.2.

      • Calypso says:

        Someone once told me that Lawton was a philatelist, but I thought it untrue. Another told me he was a thespian, but that is obviously a lie since he’s a guy and all.

      • Calypso says:

        He’s counting by ones, but he said the rules allow him to use the largest number that any other commenter mentions. You just spotted him 9 marbles. Cat’s eye marbles. Those are very valuable marbles, not to mention it really pisses of the PETA looney-tunes.

  48. Calypso says:

    Lawton, your endeavor brings to mind a song from 1981 by Styx:

    Too Much Time On My Hands lyrics
    Songwriters: Shaw, Tommy;

    I’m sitting on this barstool talking like a damn fool
    Got the twelve o’clock news blues
    And I’ve given up hope on the afternoon soaps
    And a bottle of cold brew
    Is it any wonder I’m not crazy?
    Is it any wonder I’m sane at all

    Well I’m so tired of losing I got nothing to do
    And all day to do it
    I go out cruisin’ but I’ve no place to go
    And all night to get there
    Is it any wonder I’m not a criminal?
    Is it any wonder I’m not in jail?

    Is it any wonder I’ve got too much time on my hands
    It’s ticking away with my sanity
    I’ve got too much time on my hands
    It’s hard to believe such a calamity
    I’ve got too much time on my hands
    And it’s ticking away, ticking away from me
    Too much time on my hands, too much time on my hands
    Too much time on my hands
    [ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/s/styx-lyrics/too-much-time-on-my-hands-lyrics.html%5D

    Too much time on my hands, too much time on my hands
    Too much time on my hands

    Now, I’m a jet fuel genius I can solve the world’s problems
    Without even trying
    I have dozens of friends and the fun never ends
    That is, as long as I’m buying
    Is it any wonder I’m not the president
    Is it any wonder I’m null and void?

    Is it any wonder I’ve got too much time on my hands
    It’s ticking away with my sanity
    I’ve got too much time on my hands
    It’s hard to believe such a calamity
    I’ve got too much time on my hands
    And it’s ticking away, ticking away from me
    Too much time on my hands, too much time on my hands
    Too much time on my hands, too much time on my hands
    Too much time on my hands, too much time on my hands
    Too much time on my hands, too much time on my

    • Calypso says:

      You da man, Lawton. Breaking new ground, or at least new pages. Blog pages, not legislative ones. That would not be right.

    • Calypso says:

      Really!?! Today’s the day? As a front-pager, why didn’t you give Charlie his own Happy B-day page?

      Have a great one, Charlie. Unless Ed’s lying to us.

  62. Charlie says:

    We have a rule at Peach Pundit that you don’t post links without commentary. Even if it’s Ed’s birthday. Stop it. Otherwise Harry will continue to think he is the only one who suffers from such persecution.

    • Lawton Sack says:

      Sorry, boss. I thought this particular thread was way beyond rules. My condolences to Harry.

      To provide the commentary:

      Link 1 (by Ed): Video of Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough – Michael Jackson
      Link 2 (by Lawton): Video of Doris Day singing The Party’s Over, as a witty retort to Ed’s link
      Link 3 (by Kaleidoscope): Video of Celebration by Kool and the Gang
      Link 4(by Lawton): Video of Mr. Bean dancing to the tune of Chacarron Macarron as a non-sequitur

      • Calypso says:

        Mea culpa y’all.

        Link 5 (by CALYPSO. CALYPSO is my name. CALYPSO): Mr. Bean making lunch on a park bench. The funniest 5 minutes of your life. I implore you to watch it. It’s like the comedy of Blazing Saddles, Animal House, and The Gods Must Be Crazy all rolled together and condensed into 300 seconds. Don’t blame me if you pee in your pants from all the laughter.

  64. georgiaconservative33 says:

    This thread has less than a week left on it. The only record that will be broken will be Ed’s copy of Girl You Know It’s True by Milli Vanilli.

    3,230 marbles

  65. Lea Thrace says:

    I am clearly having a brain bleed cause I just do not understand this marbles thing yall have going. 🙁

    I want to be one of the COOL KIDS!!!!

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