Town drunks rejoice! The Georgia State Senate is on the way with help.

Otis Campbell breathlessly writes in this evening between shots of Old Crow to inform the Peach Pundit Executive Committee the day our kidneys will forever regret has arrived: the beginning of the end of the absurd ban on Sunday sales of alcohol in stores. ‘Tis true, my friends. Feast your eyes on SB 10, sponsored by six lovers of local responsibility and proofread by Ben Harbin between jello shots with Kiki and Bambi lobbyists concerned citizens.

This time, Georgia’s Governor says he’ll sign the legislation if it lands on his desk.

10 comments

  1. bowersville says:

    When I clicked the link of “he’ll sign…” it was good to find out that Georgia was listed with Connecticut and Indiana as the only three banning Sunday Sales.

    Usually we’re right in there with Alabama and Mississippi.

  2. OleDirtyBarrister says:

    Good. There is no good reason to preclude the sale on Sunday. It adds a convenience factor if you should have people coming over or decide to cook or for whatever reason need a bottle of wine, some beer, etc.

    For those who are opposed to it, I hope that they will have the good sense and reading comprehension to note that there is nothing in the bill that will force them to buy or consume alcohol on Sunday. I hope that it does not take them long to get over the loss of that ridiculous little detail of everyone else’s life.

    • Rick,

      It is clear you haven’t read up on your scripture. Let me educate you:

      John 2:1-11 – Two days later (after Nathanael, or Bartholomew, had been called by Jesus to be one of his disciples) there was a wedding in the Galilean village of Cana. It was the morning of the Sabbath, and yea the local package stores werth prohibted from selling the Lord’s sweet nectar.

      Jesus’ mother was there and he and his disciples were invited to the festivities. After several keg stands, two rounds of “I never”, and a few speed chugs the supply of wine gave out, and Jesus’ mother told him, “Oh, crap. Beer run anyone?.”

      “Whoa, whoa, whoa?” replied Jesus. “Verily it’s Sabbath, woman. Nothing’s open. Thou hast no problems though, just bringeth me some water.”

      So his mother said to the servants, “Get ye this man some water.”

      In the room six very large stone water-jars stood on the floor (actually for the Jewish ceremonial cleansing), each holding about twenty gallons. Jesus gave instructions for these jars to be filled with water, and the servants filled them to the brim. Then he said to them, “Now draw some water out and taketh some to Peter, the guy hunched over in the corner”, which they did. When this man tasted the water, which had now become wine, without knowing where it came from (though naturally the servants who had drawn the water knew), he called to Jesus and said to him, “Jesus, dog. Thou hath been holding out! Yea, yea this is some good sh!t.”

      You see, Jesus would hook us up with Wine on Sunday if he was here.

  3. Jane says:

    I guess I am the only one, but I believe we should have the vote, but I will vote against any law that increases the sale of Alcohol especially Sunday sales of Alcohol.

  4. Harry says:

    WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER, EVER, QUESTION A DRUNK…

    I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
    A half-gallon of 2% milk
    A carton of eggs
    A quart of orange juice
    A head of lettuce
    A 2 lb. can of coffee
    A 1 lb. package of bacon

    As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, ‘You must be single.’

    I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status..

    Curiosity getting the better of me, I said, ‘Yes you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?’

    The drunk replied, ‘Cause you’re ugly.

Comments are closed.