…and I thought “Bearded Spock Day” was over.
Then Jay Bookman has to go and say that Newt Gingrich is being REASONABLE?
These are frightening words to type, but … Newt Gingrich and I agree with each other.
Talking to Greta van Susteren last night on Fox, the former speaker noted that Dede Scozzafava, the Republican candidate in New York’s 23rd congressional district, had been chosen by county party leaders in that district to be the GOP’s nominee in next week’s special election.
Yet Republicans from outside that district are trying to overrule that choice as ideologically unsuitable and impose their own candidate on the district.
It’s O.K., Jay. We’re here to help you through this. You see, you haven’t become a conservative. According to many of my friends on Facebook, Gingrich has now become a dirty lib’ral. How’s that you say? Well, apparently he has the gall to support states rights and local control, in a state that doesn’t think like ours. What a commie.
Please Jay, please don’t try to remind me that me and my conservative friends ran several election cycles on the principle of federalism. You know, we didn’t really hate gays. We just want each state to be able to decide what’s appropriate for them and their gays. Abortion? STATES’ RIGHTS, JAY! Leave the federal government out of it. Let the states decide.
But you see Jay, those elections are sooo 2006. And well, those didn’t turn out so well for us. I mean, we’re still for states’ rights so long as it means we can declare Medicare unconstitutional. But now that we realize that New York may want their own ideas on abortion and teh gays, well, I think you understand. That just ain’t right.
So you see Jay, we’re not doing that whole neocon states’ rights stuff anymore. We should have never fallen for the version G. W. Bush tried to sell us. You know he was born in Connecticut don’t you? I mean, we were O.K. with him when we thought he was a Texan, but Connecticut? No. No. No.
So anyway Jay, I hope you understand that we really meant that we were for states rights, up until New Yorkers want to select a pro-gay, pro-choice person who supports the 2nd Amendment, and is against Obama Care and Cap & Trade. I mean, really, how did the NRA endorse her knowing that gay people might get equal hunting rights? Lord, at this rate, California might think it has the right to legalize pot.
So now we’re just for states rights when we can invoke them. I think we’re working on a special invokin’ amendment for that. It should be done soon. And once we pass that, we should be able to tell you which rights we think our state should have each time we commence an invokin.
So we understand that you were worried, but you see, Newt’s a RINO. He thinks we’re a bit misguided by letting them folks up in New York figure out what’s best for them. We’re gonna send him a strong message though. I mean, he was pretty good once, but now he’s got the squish all over him. I guess that’s what we get for letting a dude from Pennsylvania be a Speaker of the House from Georgia.
That won’t happen again. We’re keeping our states’ rights pure this time. It’s all about Georgia Jay. Newt doesn’t get that no more. So no worries. You and Newt can publicly go together to your socialist party meetings. None of us will think you are a conservative when we see you two together. This is a hill to die on Jay, and he’s dead to us.