John, this is just the lamest thing I’ve read in a long time

I just got this email from John Oxendine’s campaign. I’ve laughed the whole way through it. I can only assume he did not actually write or approve this. At least I hope not. If so, we may need to publicly call for him to release his I.Q. and submit to a brain scan to make sure he isn’t becoming mentally disabled.

My comments are in bold/italics.

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I call upon the Governor to implement The Georgia Energy Emergency Plan. The Governor needs to consider every-other-day gas purchases and set minimum and maximum limits to prevent topping off and hoarding.

How about just allowing gas stations to raise prices to discourage excessive purchases? People will buy what they need instead of buying to fill up their tank, even though they get 25 miles to the gallon and live 10 miles from their office.

I call upon the Governor to have the Georgia State Patrol, on a rotating schedule, integrate their regular patrol duties at gas stations to both keep the peace and enforce common sense. Georgia, in particular Atlanta, is on the national news every day. There was a media report on one national network where an out of state driver pulled up to a station, broke in line, and filled up both his truck and his boat. When approached by Georgia residents, he refused to stop and gloated he was going to the lake for some fun.

Yes, to hell with murders, robberies, carjackings, and gang violence. Patrol the gas stations! Send out the national guard!

This must stop.

I’d like to think you’re talking about your email, but you keep going on with this insanity.

I call upon the Governor to bring the bi-partisan leadership of Georgia together upon his return this weekend. Georgians have asked why our taxpayer funded leaders are not meeting on this crisis as our Federal leaders have been.

The crisis is only affecting metro Atlanta. Why not just get Atlanta leaders together?

I stand with the taxpayers of Georgia and call upon the Governor to convene a Georgia Leadership Summit of our state Constitutional officers, the Legislative leadership, county and local leaders and leaders from business and consumer groups. I urge we meet at our own expense and not at taxpayer expense.

Yes, let’s get everyone up to Atlanta to use even more gas and drive up taxpayer costs at a time we’re furloughing assistant district attorneys.

I call upon the Governor and our Georgia Congressional Delegation to invite President Bush, Speaker Pelosi, Senate Leader Reed, the Secretary of Energy and the Director of the Environmental Protection Agency to Atlanta for a Town Hall meeting with Georgians.

See above. And Harry doesn’t spell his last name R-E-E-D. BONUS FEATURE: The cops won’t be able to patrol the gas stations if they’re busy with this gas guzzling security nightmare! Send in the National Guard!

The real reason that Georgians face this crisis is that the Federal government, on a bi-partisan basis, has refused to allow additional refineries to be built over the past thirty years. Due to this inept policy, Georgia taxpayers are enduring this crisis.

About the only thing that makes sense in this whole damn email.

Um, you might not be ready to run for Governor if you’re going to send out insanity like this, John.

23 comments

  1. Icarus says:

    Or, how about we acknowledge that sometimes, two major national disasters within a week of each other have ripple effects. How about understanding that it isn’t the Governor’s (or government’s) job to fix every minor inconvenience in people’s daily lives?

    Most importantly, how about realizing, just like every Atlanta TV station has, that the crisis is over, and we all somehow survived?

  2. Doug Deal says:

    How about understanding that it isn’t the Governor’s (or government’s) job to fix every minor inconvenience in people’s daily lives?

    I had a headache today. Where is my bailout?

  3. Icarus says:

    I checked with the Senate, Doug.

    We’re writing a $200 Billion dollar check to the makers of Advil.

    I’m told that should solve your problem.

  4. “Oh Johnny, did you ever back the wrong horse.” – Ghostbusters 2

    Is he just trying to be a populist and hope no one notices how bad his ideas are, or is he trying to make sure Cagle wins? I’m confused.

  5. bowersville says:

    I thought I knew it, I wasn’t sure, but now I know, the Ox is a wiener. Jimmy Carter redeux 1972.

  6. Just the Facts Please says:

    Let’s talk a moment about minimum purchases. So if I am out of gas and only have $10 to keep my car going, they are going to tell me to come back when I have more money?

    OK, I get it.

  7. atlantaman says:

    Erick-

    That was hilarious. I loved the demagoging of that evil “out of state” truck driver, who filled his truck and his boat up – so he could spend his recreation money on Georgia businesses. Did the SOB eat at one our restaurants also – it better not have been barbeque!

    I bet he was a yankee illegal immigrant. Maybe Oxendine can make “banning anyone outside the state of Georiga from using our lakes and beaches” part of his campaign platform.

  8. Crazy Bastard says:

    The only thing that would make this statement funnier would be to have him read it in his ridiculous Mickey Mouse voice.

  9. Icarus says:

    would be to have him read it in his ridiculous Mickey Mouse voice…while speeding through intersections in his Crown Vic with a blue light on.

  10. Donkey Kong says:

    It’s affecting Athens too. Hmmm… Atlanta… Athens… the only two Democratically controlled areas of the state… must be a Cheney conspiracy.

  11. Icarus says:

    “There was a media report on one national network where an out of state driver pulled up to a station, broke in line, and filled up both his truck and his boat…”

    I’m thinking they just mis-identified a Georgia resident with his Gator tag.

  12. Donkey Kong says:

    It’s affecting Athens too. Hmmm… Atlanta… Athens… the only two Democratically controlled areas of the state… must be a Cheney conspiracy.

    Or, even more grave, a Tanalach Conspiracy. If that’s the case, all we can do is pray (or, if that’s not your cup of tea, plug your ears and whisper “hopechangehope” repeatedly).

  13. The GSP doesn’t investigate “murders, robberies, carjackings, and gang violence.” But the notion of having GSP troopers at gas stations is still amusing.

  14. atlantaman says:

    Looks like the Ox jumped on this bandwagon after the parade was already over – nice try. Mr. Johnny come lately – he’s already tried to embrace the fairtax, which is not really a state priority, perhaps as Governor he can send the Georgia Guard to the Alabama border to stop the influx of illegal aliens or organize a constitutional summit to allow for offshore oil drilling.

  15. bowersville says:

    Not all the illegal aliens come from Alabama. Some of them come from Knoxville, Gainesville and Baton Rogue.

  16. atlantaman says:

    I’ve heard that Ox is going to personally direct traffic at a Q.T. until the gas shortage is resolved.

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