Eric Johnson Apologies

Somehow I don’t think this will placate the apology demanders of the world, but Eric Johnson wants everyone to know he’s sorry. He writes:

“I’m sorry about the indians. I’m sorry for slavery. I’m sorry for child labor. I’m sorry for not letting women vote sooner. I’m sorry for prohibition. I’m sorry for getting into WWII late. I’m even sorry for global warming. Now can we move forward?”

I don’t see an apology for being a white man though. Clearly we cannot accept any of his apologies until he has done so.

But I agree, can we move forward now?

PS – I told you people that once we apologized for eugenics it would be a nonstop apology fest.

19 comments

  1. Rpolitic says:

    drug a couple of underage girls and use them as a sex toy then expect an apology.

    Priceless

  2. Jeff Emanuel says:

    Senator Johnson, as a registered Indian, I don’t accept your apology, because (1) If you didn’t “oppress” me, take my land, etc., then you have nothing to apologize for, and (2) If you did, then I want my dang money and land back well before I will even consider forgiving you.

    Deal? 🙂

  3. GAWire says:

    Hey, Emanuel … I got your land. It’s in Kansas, right next door to the NAACP offices. Oddly enough, it’s ocean front property, too.

    Happy now?!?

    🙂

  4. jkga says:

    My family is from the North, so on their behalf:

    Sorry about Sherman, y’all!

    (of course, that was a long time ago, and everyone who was there is dead, so I’m sure nobody seriously harbors any ill feelings about the March to the Sea and everyone has already decided to move forward.)

  5. CHelf says:

    What happens when I had southern relatives who fought with Sherman in his March to the Sea? Can I ever forgive myself?

  6. Erick says:

    I do not apologize for my people discovering this damn continent before the rest of you people, except Jeff’s people.

    I do not apologize for my people plaguing the world with the Swedish Swim Team and assorted smokin’ hot models.

    I do not apologize for my people discovering real vodka.

    I pretty much don’t apologize. Stick it you Anglos.

  7. Bull Moose says:

    Well, apologies seem to be the theme of the day! I have a request of apologies:

    I’d like the radio stations to to apologize for taking a good song and playing it every 15 minutes and ruining it for me.

    I’d like the clothing people to apologize for not making more clothes specifically tailored for people with a 29 inch inseam.

    I’d like for Clint Eastwood to apologize for turning Midnight In the Garden of Good and Evil into a boring movie.

    Those will do for a start…

  8. Headin\' South says:

    … and I apologize for being one of the many carpetbaggers who moved south and contributed to congestion on Atlanta’s roadways.

    I feel better now.

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